"It is impossible for ideas to compete in the marketplace if no forum for
  their presentation is provided or available."         Thomas Mann, 1896

Letter from the President

John Hathaway-Bates
President & Executive Director

At a recent Business Forum Luncheon, someone posed a question that was all to do with identifying “non-experts” “posing” as “experts” – what teenagers today call – “Posers”.  As with Y2K, the latest clamor for increased security seems to be spawning a great number of “Posers” or, people pretending to be what they are not.  As one guest put it, “the same snake-oil salesmen who tried to sell me Y2K solutions, are now trying to sell me Security solutions”.

After the meeting, being driven back to Beverly Hills, I began to realize that the problem of “Posers” is not a new one; however, with today’s instantaneous communications and the reduction of the “generalist” in almost all Nation States, and as we move more and more towards the Medieval system of Guild membership (read: Professional Associations, College Degrees and Organization membership) and "recognized" specializations in knowledge, (whether that be dentists, doctors, teachers or attorneys), it becomes all that harder to be able to identify the “Posers” from the “Real" Experts.

When the same actor can play a moron in one movie and the President (Father) of the United States in another, with equal conviction and level of audience belief – one has to wonder how his abilities might have been used had he not found success in Hollywood to provide him with a living.  A few months back I wrote my spoof on National Identity Cards and the response was far different from what I had expected it to be – almost to a man or a woman, et al, (Hindu, Jew, Muslim, Protestant and Catholic and a few self proclaimed Atheists), agreed with the concept – not as the whimsical, if not farcical, little essay it was meant to be, but as what they took to be a well-thought out and elegantly presented argument.  So I went back and read it again (National Identity Cards) and perhaps there really is something good in having an uncontestable form of identity, personal belief presentation and detailed history of ourselves in our present complicated world.  (Out of the mouths of idiots, (such as I) etc., etc.)

Now, for the moment, I am toying with the idea of putting a PC Proposition on the next California Ballot to create a “Public Comfort Commission”.  This austere body would be charged with creating and being the central clearinghouse for “the comfort level of all citizens of California” by using an electronic voting system via the Internet (inhabitants of California without computers would be provided with Internet access and training at every place where California Lottery Tickets are sold).

The members of this Board would have to equally represent all of the citizens of California obviously, for it to be really fair and truly "of the People" (and therefore all persons who have held public positions of power, have ever received a pay check from any legitimate government, or have been convicted of some other form of fraud, would not be allowed to serve on the Board).  Instead, every Californian (legal, illegal, citizen, alien or for that matter, visiting Martian, who is currently paying rent or a mortgage payment, or is homeless but registered in an accepted California Homeless Person’s Shelter, or is sharing a living space with someone who is doing any of the above – and is over the legal age of joining the Armed Forces) would need to vote on one new Proposition per month, as put forward by the Board – or pay a fine of $100 to go towards reducing the State Deficit, or surrender their Driver’s, Dog, Fishing, Heavy Machinery Operator or Marriage License, until they do begin to vote in the system.  Those people living more than 15 miles from a California State Lottery machine location (probably less than 1% of our voters) would be delivered a free laptop and a satellite dish (and batteries if required), on loan for the last three days of the month, each month to allow them to vote.  These laptops would be delivered and then collected, by the United States Postal Service as a States Rights requirement for the State of California staying in the Union.

Having established such a system with so little bureaucracy (it would be electronic almost completely, with the technicians operating it subjected to daily drug testing, emotional stability testing, anger management level testing – and of course paid the same as a California State Senator with all the same benefits and retirement rights - after serving a certain period of years to be established by the same system (multi-choice answers included with the first voting forms).  Any person found tampering with, or interfering with the system in any way, would draw a mandatory sentence of spending six months (24/7) in the close company of Joan Rivers, which would of course be video-taped for Reality TV.

Now comes the fun part:  What wonderful simple one or two sentence questions (100 words or less) would appear on the ballot?  The examples that come to mind are mind-boggling.

“Should all elected members at all levels of government that draw income from Californian citizens be compelled to have the same Social Security Retirement benefits, medical benefits and security protection as the average Californian citizen?" 
Yes or No

“Should a member of any government that uses any portion of tax revenue from the citizens of California who is convicted of a State or federal offense be stripped of citizenship and deported to a country they, or their immediate family or in-laws, has lobbied for in this country?”  
Yes or No

“Should every News Reader, writer, reporter, listed "Expert" and editor be subjected to an annual testing to establish their personal beliefs, such testing to last no more than seven days and to be carried out by retired interrogators from the NSA or the Guantanamo Bay Detention Center in Cuba, (tests to be designed by three psychologists (one each appointed by the Republicans, the Democrats and a panel of the living direct descendents of the Founding Fathers of California - those living here before the introduction of Federal Income Tax for Californians). This testing to be done to award them a certified PC Qualification on a scale 1 to 10 (the average Californian would of course be a 5 or a 6 - Stalin would be a 1 and Mussolini a 10 – or the other way around)" which certification must be displayed every time they make a statement for Public Consumption". 
Yes or No  

"Should the total debt of California be added up (audited by all of the remaining major (Big-3) Accounting Firms) and be paid by assessing a tax that is an equal percentage of every Californian Family's Net Worth, (elected officials who helped to create the debt to pay double)?"
Yes or No

"Should every teacher, administrator and principal of California State funded Institutions of Learning be paid a share of a set percentage of the salaries of their graduated students who maintain residency in California?"   
Yes or No

"Should every television station broadcasting in California be restricted to only broadcasting an advertisement for one of their own programs (or even another station's program) to just once (30 seconds) a day, and all paid (or bartered) advertisements be restricted to being aired within a single period of only five minutes each hour?"  
Yes or No

It goes on and on if your imagination is given free rein – and it is probably the best form of anger management yet known to man, (or woman, etc., etc.) as farce and parody have always been.  Mind you, if it was enacted it would also bring about huge savings for the State Treasury as elected members of State and Local Government in California would only need to work, or meet for the purposes of organizing and directing our lives, for just one month a year (at one twelfth of the present costs of staffing, transporting, wining and dining them).  For the other eleven months of the year Senate and Assembly buildings, Council Chambers, employees only restaurants and restrooms, members offices and of course the Governor's Mansion, could be used to house the homeless, or serve as venues for drug and mental health treatment.

The facts prove that the other form of PC has now reached the levels of the ridiculous.  In Beverly Hills, California (90210 of Television fame), it is illegal to enjoy a cigar, light a cigarette or smoke a Native American Peace Pipe for religious purposes in the open air in a Public Park, or even on the street, if that street is Canon Drive on a Sunday morning (?); while at the same time mentally ill homeless people are ignored as they roam the streets screaming profanity at whomsoever crosses their path, or exercising their body functions on Rodeo Drive.   So perhaps my seemingly illogical desire to return to a more logical age is not so illogical after all?

Hope to see you at lunch soon,

President & Executive Director

Letters to the President

You can email me at   john@bizforum.org
You can telephone me at    310-550-1984 
or Fax me at                               310-550-6121

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Previous Letters from the President

April 2001
May 2001
June 2001
July  2001
August 2001
September 2001
October 2001
November 2001
   December 2001   
The Etiquette of Formal & Business Dining

January 2002
February 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002

December 2002
The Viking Effect upon World Freedom

 A tongue-in-cheek treatise on the many benefits that a country gains simply by being founded by the descendants of populations who were most often raped, pillaged and looted by the Vikings.

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January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003

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January 2004

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